Years back, before I had children of my own, I remember hearing “I can’t believe anyone would do that to their children. Who does that? What evil possesses a woman to kill her baby?”. I’m positive that person had no idea of the damage they did in that moment or the continuing impact years later. … Continue reading I’m pleading with you to be quiet for all the moms who can’t tell you how awful you’re being.
Sometimes, my backyard doesn’t look like a backyard.
Maybe I should listen a little less to guilt.
I used to work at a cookie company and it was one of the most valuable jobs I've had. Not only did I learn how to unload a shipment, close out a register, count change in my head, and that a rash breaks out on my hands if I wear latex gloves repeatedly, I developed … Continue reading Maybe I should listen a little less to guilt.
High Functioning Anxiety-What If City.
Being excessively prepared is normal to me. I’ve learned that to others, this appears like I’m doing well, put together, on top of my game… In reality, I’m prepared because I’m very afraid of what happens if I’m not. I’m often the person in a room that has a band-aid, extra sanitary products, baby wipes, … Continue reading High Functioning Anxiety-What If City.
A tradition I can manage and actually enjoy.
My husband and I have tried to begin several food related traditions at Christmas, or so he says. Anxiety and depression can contribute to memory loss and I don't remember these efforts he remembers. Apparently, we attempted to begin a sugar cookie tradition and a pancake breakfast too. I vaguely remember getting him a cookie … Continue reading A tradition I can manage and actually enjoy.
One balloon of many.
Tonight is the longest night. My friend will be there tonight at church, just as she was before. I won’t be able to be near her, to cry in the pew beside her, to pass tissues, to mourn together. I’ll be facing her while I help to lead the service. Thankfully, if I cry with … Continue reading One balloon of many.
High Functioning Anxiety-I’m still tired.
A little while back, I shared one of the traits of high functioning anxiety, being worried about disappointing people—all the time. Always being tired is another. This is a state of being that is constantly with me, no matter whether I’ve slept 7 hours or 4. Sure, my day is far more manageable with 7 … Continue reading High Functioning Anxiety-I’m still tired.
I wasn't expecting to meet such a lovely little creature while visiting a pup for a potty break and snuggles. I definitely wasn't expecting that it would pose for me and peak out just enough for me to capture its face and eyes. I think sometimes the world wants me to stop and listen and … Continue reading Bonus pet.
Am I an imposter?
Being a church leader is paralyzing in some ways. At times, it is affirming and uplifting, but on the other hand, it makes attending church feel like a job. Anyone at any time can be upset with you- feel you haven’t done your part, should have done it differently, should have kept your mouth shut, … Continue reading Am I an imposter?
When he’s still.
My youngest vibrates. Sitting without moving is very challenging for him. He regularly picks his skin open and peels apart the laces on his shoes at school during class. At church, it's not unusual to find him slithering under pews. His dad and I will sometimes strategically sit on separate pews, one bench behind the … Continue reading When he’s still.