Their Angels

See that you don’t look down on one of these little ones, because I tell you that in heaven their angels continually view the face of My Father in heaven.  -Matthew 18:10

I don’t remember when I first read this verse, but “their angels” is boxed in my bible.  Maybe I should start dating when I mark certain scriptures.  It might be a helpful timeline for me.  Sometimes, the bible makes me very angry and discouraged.  Other times, it is beautiful and leaves me wanting more.  It can be boring and exciting, confusing, and clear as water.  There are moments when particular verses leave me raw and open.  Matthew 18:10 is one of them.  My husband tucks me in nearly every night.  My body responds to the dark, and I’m sleepy and occasionally cranky by 9 or 10 pm.  It isn’t unusual for our kids to be asleep by 8 and me down by 9.  The moon has no power over my spouse and he’ll easily stay up until 4 am and has in the past.  Each night, my husband fluffs my pillow, straightens my weighted blanket, finds at least one of my stuffies, and wraps me snug as a bug in a rug.  When I’m having an especially stressful night, he’ll find a little stuffy that lights up and plays lullabies and gently pushes it under the covers so I can press its belly to see in the dark.  It’s very important to my husband that I feel safe and loved.  To some, this may be extremely spoiling and unnecessary, but it is something he gives me to show me that I am and will continue to be one of his highest priorities. Unless he is on a work call or our kids have a greater need, if he is home, he will drop what he is doing and tuck me in.  I can send him a gif of a kitty cat or puppy being wrapped in a blanket and know I’ll hear his steps down the stairs in just a few minutes.  This daily ritual of tucking me in is his way of saying that there is almost nothing that is worth more than me, and he wants me to go to sleep knowing that he is nearby and will come when I need him.  I got this bible several years after we married, so I know this box around “their angels” came after our snug bug routine began.  I must have read it and realized that I had an angel and might still have one depending on how you interpret “little ones”.  I was never alone.  When the bad dreams came and I was scared and lonely, God made sure someone was with me, whether I knew it or not.  God sent someone to tuck me in, to make me a priority, to love me, and hold me.  The overwhelming realization that God thought I was worth an angel, that sending an angel to me was good and necessary and wanted—  I don’t have words to articulate what that is to me. I have always been loved, and I believe you have been too. I haven’t always been able to feel that love, but it was there, is there, and will continue to be there.

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