Which password?

Given the amount of time that has passed since my last post, I’m amazed there are still views! Your patience has more pluck than mine. After losing my computer beneath my bed and finding it again weeks later with no battery power, I put my computer right back under my bed once I realized that I couldn’t remember my password. Weeks became months and here I am now, writing once again, but this time with an understanding that my brain will forget passwords, over and over and over again. I don’t yet have a plan for this. Right now, I’m proud of myself for finding my computer again, finding its charger, resetting everything and trying again. Repeatedly, my counselor has reminded me to change the way I talk about myself, to use kinder words, less shaming. I could have done such and such, not I should have done such and such. Talk about what you are doing, not what you’re not doing. It’s such a hard thing to do, learning to be careful with your own heart and mind and body, to love yourself and be gracious. I find that I unintentionally judge myself even about that. Thanks for continuing to check, trusting that eventually, I’d come back around. I won’t say that I’ll never go this long without posting again, because that might be a lie in the end. I will say that I will continue to write and I do hope you’ll continue to read.